Survival Guide

So what's going on?

At this stage as we write we have five months to go to the convention, we have most of the convention organised but there may be changes and lots of additions.

Here we give you a selection of the sort of stuff we will be doing.

Do you come here often?

We have two discos over the course of the weekend. They start at around 9pm and will stretch on until about 2am, and then will spill into the bar for more beer.

We have decided to add some variety to our discos by making them themed. The Friday night one will be homage to The Seventies, the Starsky & Hutch and CarWash era, so outrageous putrid colour clothing and wigs are the order of the night.

The theme on Saturday night will be Fetish/Rocky Horror Picture Show, again some people will be scandalously and scantily dressed, and others... well just odd!

Don't worry or feel inhibited you'll know lots of people by then and may even wish to show off for some of them...

Personally its out with the schoolgirl costumes (James) and tight fitting rubber outfits (Stef)*

(* Errrrm, its what we like to see - NOT what we're gonna wear)

Who's he then?

At time of press we have only one guest. By our next report we may have more, maybe not though, and we are not really bothered.

Robert Rankin is our Guest of Honour. Apart from being a very funny writer he is also immensely entertaining.

He will be talking toot over the course of the weekend and also launching his next book, Waiting for Godalming, which he will signing ans stamping with the special convention stamp to commemorate the occasion.

In recent years Robert has been designing the covers of his own books, this offers us the unique opportunity to have an art show of his work. He will be present to talk through his work, discuss it and he intends to bring along some work in progress.

For Michael Carroll's detailed biography of Robert, turn to the next page.

Out and About

We have a few outdoor activities organised. Casualty knock out will no doubt prove interesting, racing wheelchairs, zimmer frames and emptying colostomy bags is great fun, especially against other teams.

Five-a-side hurling will introduce one of the most beautiful and brutal of sports known to man. There will be special rules in an attempt to keep the hospitalisations low.

Midnight Man Hunt will be a real test for those of you who enjoy a challenge, prepare to be dropped at an landing-zone some distance from the hotel and attempt to return without being caught - at night, alone, in the dark, in your pants (okay we lied about the pants).

Beer Rounders, Captain-Laser-Alien-Attack-Zap-O-Kill, and a couple of rounds of allotment golf will also be going on.

This is a chance to have a go at things?

Juggling, stilt walking and uni-cycling will take up one session, while magic tricks and terrorist interrogation will fill another. Taking plaster casts of yourself. Fighting with swords and using mind control will be covered in how to be a Jedi. Building weapons to destroy UFOs. A spanking workshop and 101 things to do with a sprout...

We will also have pro's in interesting fields coming along to talk about various things. We will have a tattoo session, a piercing session and hopefully a taxidermist session.

We will also be having Neville's Cocktail Workshop and Soap Distant's guide to the London's Underworld (underground stuff - not crooks).